Sunday, October 18, 2009

Goal: Precious Time

Not having much time lately to maintain both blogs as often as I like. I have merged the posts of my a plan in action blog into this one a southern thang.

Same type of goal-oriented posts, just this new location.

Here's a few updates on some of the financial goals:
Currently working on design for 1st internet app
Completed 1st draft of database design of 2nd internet app

NERD:To Be or Not To Be

Listening to The Michael Baisden Show (10.14.2009) after work the other day, the topic was 'Dumb It Down'. It was heartbreaking to hear about kids being tormented for getting good grades. After picking up son, before letting him hear the show, I asked him if anyone bothered him about his grades. He said 'Yes'. With this kid, we had to immediately talk about it. While in preschool, he thought his name was 'Benjamin Is Smart' because he heard the phrase so many times from his teachers. In first grade, he once wore my mother's eyeglasses (with bifocals) to school because students were calling him a nerd and he thought nerds were supposed to wear glasses. I made him feel better by informing him that I, along with my friends, were considered nerds and we all NOW are doing quite well.
He's now in third grade and first term at a new school. He said that along with a few others, he was being ridiculed for receiving A's. It shocked me to know that there are 'B', 'C', and 'D' gangs. Since no 'A' gang, he was feeling isolated. I reminded him of my "nerdiness" and that the President and First Lady are both considered the same. He felt so much better and doesn't plan to "Dumb Down" at all, but plans to "get his". I'm so thankful he has the strength to not let others diminish his goals.

This morning I watched a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about nerds. I tried to remember if I was bothered in school about my grades or being a nerd. I do not recall any specific taunts, so I just checked my grades to see if I could notice a pattern. (My mother kept an album for all my report cards, certificates, and notices of excellence from 1st to 12th grade.) Excluding handwriting (lol), I had A's and B's from 1st to 4th grade. Something happened in 5th grade. I started Reading and Mathematics on 4th grade level with C's. During the 3rd and 4th grading periods, I moved up to 5th levels for both areas having B's in the last grading period. Finishing Reading with a final B average, but not enough for Math, ending with a C average. A note in my record that I could not receive an A or B when I was below average.

The progression continued in the 6th grade. Reading started on proper level with B's then to A's, but also excelled to 7th grade level with A's. Mathematics was on proper level with B's. In 7th grade, I was on 8th grade level in reading with B's and mathematics from B's to A's on proper level.

Looking at the pattern I had to think back for anything that happened to lower my grades in 4th and excellence in 5th grade. I do remember being teased that I didn't wear trendy clothing and I was not popular, but not which year. That could have been the cause. The only significant incident I can remember in the 5th grade was the ONLY fight I've ever had in my life. It started in recess with a "trouble-maker" (MT) began teasing me in a crowd of my classmates. Normally this didn't affect me but the addition of a "friend" joining them must have hurt and weakened my self-control. MT began to laugh and point a finger in my face, a BIG NO-NO! I recall pushing her hand out of my face. It was ON from that point. I lost complete control. I recall seeing my arms swinging can't recall any emotion. Also I recall pushing the PE teacher away and continuing. I have no recollection of how it was stopped.

Not known for getting in trouble, I was given a pass and not even sent to the principal's office. Ironically, MT later wanted to be friends and many others left me alone.
It's sad, but I'm glad it happened. It appears to have shaped what I am today and helps me guide my son through all he has faced and what he may face in the future.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Big 4-0 and still climbing...

I've heard that some dread reaching the age of 40. For me, it is a milestone. A moment to evaluate where I have been, where I am now, and where I want to be. I haven't completed several tasks that I have set forth to do. Some hindrances have been out of my control, but others have not. I take this moment in life to affirm my commitment to my goals and to myself and to my family. It's understandable that it won't be easy and a huge sacrifice of my already little "me" time, but the rewards of accomplishment will be worth it.

Onto softer conversation, my birthday weekend was great. Starting the day (Oct 2nd) with flowers and a balloon from Hubby when I woke. On-site co-workers from our consulting company took me to lunch. It was odd that it was the first time in the years we've worked there just the four of us had lunch together. It was Mexican.

My birthday coincided on First Friday Macon. An event where business owners in downtown Macon have several events to attract consumers to the area. Since Hubby had to work night shift, I spent the evening there with Mom, son and a girlfriend who also works with me. It was a lovely evening great for outdoor entertainment.

Saturday's plans were for us to have dinner with Mom, sis and niece at Golden Corral's. Dinner was actually a surprise party for me. I had no idea. It was a great feeling NOT being involved something. We arrived BEFORE many of the surprise guests. That was great also having to focus on a few at a time instead of everyone.
I saw first my mom sitting with a family friend which we've regularly shared family events. Once fully entering the room I saw one of the guys I had lunch with the day before sitting next to my girlfriend who hung out with me the night before. Payback will be later.
Within minutes, my brother (from metro Atlanta) and his three sons (7, 5, 1) came in. It was nice seeing my brother, but having my nephews there added a special touch.
Moments later an old friend arrived with her mother and her daughter. Their family used to live behind my mom. We both grew up together and used to be best of friends. They were definitely a surprise, she currently lives in metro Atlanta with her family. I hadn't spoken to her since New Year's and maybe a year since we've seen each other. My sister and niece arrived much later, but before some had to leave.

There were more invited but were unable to attend for prior commitments. It was fine. If all had attended, the room would have been crowded and maybe uncomfortable. The kids enjoyed the space; they had fun running around and playing around and under the tables. A tremendous joy was the cake. My mom had made and decorated it. Mmmm, pound cake birthday cake, yes!

Sunday was supposed to be dinner for just me, Hubby, and son, but I was too tired from working all week and trying to get weekend chores done early, then the Friday and Saturday events. The dinner was not cancelled, just postponed (I'm not crazy!).

Monday was back to normal. Before lunch, the same corruptible girlfriend asked if I wanted to go for Mexican for lunch. Needing to make a run to Home Depot (a long story), I told her I might not make it. Then she remembers that she needed to go also and so she tagged along with another friend of ours. Quickly finishing, we had a quick sitdown lunch at Zaxby's. Arriving back to the office, I noticed folks had been busy. There were posted fliers of me announcing my 40th birthday on two sets of the entrance glass doors, below the elevator button, (upstairs) security doors to the hallway to my office area. I began to wonder how much damage was done to my cubicle. I saw what was done to the guy who turned 40 last month, I began to cringe.

It wasn't as bad as I expected, but really funny. It's nice to be loved.

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