Thursday, December 2, 2010

Prenuptial Agreements Expanded for Wedding Participants

Prenuptial agreements were normally contracts between the couple getting married. Now because of escalating wedding proceeding costs and increasing rate of divorce, wedding participants are now seeking attorneys to develop Prenuptial Agreements for wedding party participants and guests against the engaged couple.

In case the couple divorces, participants now want reimbursements for expenses incurred by being a member of the wedding party, i.e. gowns, shoes, tuxedo rentals, etc.  Along with guests, they are also seeking reimbursements for travel expenses.

Their reasoning is that people spend into several hundreds of dollars in preparation for and attendance to wedding proceedings, but seems wasted when couples divorce within a few years, or less.  More is spent when the event is located in a vacation environment such as a cruise or Caribbean resort.  Many participants coincide their vacation with the wedding proceedings, which could raise their expenses into the thousands of dollars.

The agreements have commonly stated the couple would reimburse participants on a pro-rated scale of 10% reduction per year if the couple divorced before their 10th anniversary.  Estimated expenses had to be submitted along with agreements and actual expenses had to be reported and updated into the agreement within 30 days after the wedding.

The 10-year period was selected figuring if the couple could survive that long, they would have figured out how to continue the marriage longer.

In case of infidelity, the injured spouse would be able to divorce the cheating spouse and be released from the prenuptial agreement, leaving the cheating spouse fully responsible for the indemnification of the prenuptial agreement.

In the case of death, not caused by a spouse, the agreement would be nullified. In case of spousal-incurred death, the surviving spouse would still be responsible for the indemnification of the prenuptial agreement.

Having previously attended a Caribbean wedding and knowing of others that have traveled to attend and participate in weddings that were costly and the coupled divorced within years, I wish I had several of these agreements in place. Oh, well, maybe for the next one.

Ok, this not real, just satire, but what if???

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Birds Of A Feather

It amazing how naturally we gather around those alike us.  I don't believe it's intentional, it just happens.  I sit now in my son's school gymanasium awaiting tonight's PTO 4th grade program.  Arrived early for best selection of seating, I sit terminating the fourth row.  When selected I was the only one of distinctive shade of brown. 
Moments later, a brown-shaded couple occupied the pair of cold metal seats in front on me.  Their selection was not immediately noticed while I perused Tweets.
Distracted by a three-some group excused themselves as they crossed my path to select seating on my row, it was then the flocks began to appear.
My area was not the only grouping in this section, earlier I had noticed a couple in another mostly vacant section as I was originally.  They are now joined by other groups of brown_shaded complexions. 
I don't have the demographics of the fourth grade student population and their families, but wouldn't be surprised if tonight's attendence corresponded.

Program is starting......

Monday, September 13, 2010

As I think of Dad (RIP), would have been 79

On Daddy's Birthday, reflections on previous posts

Would have been 77

Now I know

Sista GP
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Thursday, September 2, 2010


Those that can't see your forest for the trees

Those that can't see your forest because they are the trees

Those that can see the forest because they surround it and can enter at any time

Friends tell you when YOUR FOREST IS ON FIRE!!

Cherish your friends, they can save your life AND your trees..

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Being in the internet applications development field, security stays in mind.  Browsing a site earlier today brought great concern.  Social media sites can offer a plethora of privacy options, but none can protect against misuse of an authorized account.  Let's say a minor post pictures of oneself and friends on their personal site.  This site is accessible by their "friends" of the same age aznd most likely have the same associations (school, church, neighborhood).  Some may think that since their privacy settings are restricted to just "friends" all is well. 

What about the credentials of those friends? How safe are they kept? 
Think about these scenarios...

Scenario A
A "friend" of the minor shares a computer with others, family, friends, or just anyone in the household.  They all use the same computer account and password.  This minor also has their social media site setting to leave them logged on to the computer.  This would be convenient for the minor's friend but also has made the minor's pictures available to strangers.

Scenario B
The minor's friend, or anyone accessible to the account, purposely saves the minors images from the browser and distributes them to strangers.

Scenario C
The minor posts status of current activities denoting location and pattern of events.  A stranger, having the minor's images, could now identify and track the minor based on these status live via mobile access.

In each of the scenarios, the minor may have no idea who is viewing/tracking/stalking them.  It would not matter whether the minor's images were provocative or not, there are many ill people in this world that should not have access to these images and status messages.

Some of these sites have restriction of 13 aged minors, this needs to be increased to no one under 18.
It shouldn't be that hard.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Highest priority
I'll be posting the projects we been doing in the past few's the main reason why I have been anti-social networking lately, basically no blogging, twittering, or facebooking, other than the show, of course.

By the end of each day, I preferred a bed over a'll see why....

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Chemicals vs Henna?

As I have continued my Natural Hair Journey, one area that was not so natural was my hair coloring methods.  Several times I had planned to just keep the gray rather than use the chemical coloring processes. I even contemplated applying the color myself, but was afraid of leaving it in too long.  While perusing many natural hair sites, there were mentions of henna, but I hadn't paid much attention  until recently.  I don't recall which site gathered my most attention, but one did, then another, then another. The biggest draw was the longer you leave it in the better.  Opposite of chemical coloring...
So a few weeks ago I decided to try it.  First problem was trying to find the right henna.  I needed to find Body Art Quality henna.  I tried several places, but none could be found.  At the store I regularly purchase my hair products, the merchant reminded me of a Indian store located back in town.  They may have the henna I searched.  He gave me directions, but it would have to wait another day.
Days later I sought the store based on the merchant's directions to discover the store is not at that location anymore.  Vaguely recalling a Indi-Paki store recently opened near my workplace, it was my next choice.

This grocer did have two types of henna products.  The first the merchant presented advertised as different shades.  From my research, this brand would not be one I needed.  The other brand was not legible to me as I hoped. I recognized the Mehandi name from my research and it was labeled for Hair Color usage only.  For $1.99 a box, it was worth a try.

From my research on Henna For Hair, lemon juice was the recommended method of extracting the pigment from the henna plant powder. Gloved in latex in my newspapered bathroom I began the mixing process until the product was like pudding or yogurt.  The paste mixture was then covered in plastic wrap touching the mixture to restrict air penetration. I let it set overnight until late the next morning.

Henna - Lemon Juice mixture

Before application, I mixed in more lemon juice. During the wait time, I shampoo washed my hair.  Afterward, enjoying the fun gooey mess, starting at the nape of my neck, I began to heavily apply the mixture over my head as described in the Free Ebook provided on that website.

Applied mixture back

Applied mixture top

Once applied, I wrapped my head in plastic wrap. 

Post-application wrap-up

After about 5-6 hours, I rinsed then shampooed out the rest of the mixture and styled in to my most common style, THE AFRO.

It was a fun process.  I've read that some initially henna several times weekly, then weekly, then monthly.  Maybe it's because of the method used, but my color still looks great after these weeks have passed.  Next week being a holiday weekend, I may henna again.

You want to try it?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Purse interior shouldn't be black

All this week I have been looking for my headphones. For their protection, I keep them in this pouch. I had unsuccessfully searched my purse AND other cases several times. Now this morning while looking for something else, I noticed the "bottom" of my purse seemed different. One quick pull, out came the pouch.

There are too many black items that are lost in a purse.  This doesn't just apply to purses, I've lost items later discovered in laptop cases, messenger bags, and luggage, all having black interior. This default color needs to change. 

Or is this just a problem with me misplacing things.  What do you think?

Monday, May 31, 2010

Cookout vs. Grilling vs. BBQ

As the summer approaches, outdoor cooking and eating is more prevalent. Recently stated to me, "what the South calls Grilling, the North calls BBQ" made me wonder what exactly each mean. Now, a cookout seems to cover all. The meal is prepared outdoors using heat supplied via gas, charcoal, or wood, followed by consumption outdoors too. 
Grilling adds specifics to the way of cooking, differentiating from open pit and campfire. There are gas grills, charcoal grills, and smoker grills with wood smoke boxes. To me, this isn't a BBQ.
A BBQ is an event, it includes grilling (ribs, chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers), eating outdoors, family, friends, music, games, joy and laughter.

Yesterday we had a BBQ.  Hubby grilled several slabs of ribs, sausages, hot dogs, and chicken. Also he prepared his "original" baked beans and BBQ sauce, while I prepared the cole slaw and managed the cleanup as-you-go.  We hung out in the garage where the kids went back and forth from sitting with us and playing games to frequent bike rides.  The garage was convenient for protection from the scattered rain showers we had all day. For some, this may be called a BBQ, but for me, the addition of music tops off the definition.  Music can be live, cd, mp3, or even streamed as we did.  But the significance is how the music was provided.  Hubby ran new speaker wire from his amp to an old speaker, piping the music streamed from Pandora through my phone connected to the amp and the indoor speakers and now outdoor speaker in the garage.  Later in the day, a neighbor and his dog joined us to finish off the day.

Now that is what a BBQ is to me.  What does it mean to you?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I miss my blog...with so much to do, when is there time to write?

Having the second contractor to cancel their visit to provide an estimate to fix the damage from the leaking roof (finally fixed after 1.5 years) and paint the room and believing the estimates received so far to be overpriced, I've decided to do it myself.  I've watched plenty of DIY projects completed by my parents and having DIYNetwork as the most watched channel in my home, I should be able to pull this off.

I spent all weekend, scraping, kilzing, joint compounding, sanding, paint sampling, and priming....

Main damage from leaking roof

Main work area

Trying to decide which color blends better with furniture and curtain panels I plan to convert from window scarfs.

Once getting handle on knockdown patch...painting room will be next task. First try...too wet

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Blogoversary #2 ADHD: Fact or Fiction

It's surprising to believe that it's been two years since I started this blog.  So many elements have changed in my life since this blog was started which resulted in reduction of my post frequency.  It is not that I had not wanted to write, it was a matter of schedule.  I've realized more lately that since I started writing a few years ago, writing is a part of me and I must incorporate it in my life just as much as what I do for my family.  This is something that I must do for myself, for my sanity, for my soul.  I renew this journey with this post.

Once again the topic of ADHD has come close to home.  As with many unfamiliar topics, I've spent many hours researching to learn as much as I can for an informed understanding.  Much of this research has been online medical based articles, but some were on forums.  I've also had direct conversation with parents of children diagnosed with this condition and some that have not.  From this research, I learned the heart behind this condition. 
There are some who believe that this condition does not exist, that this is just children behaving normally, or acceptable teenage behavior that they'll grow out of it, or adults that should know better.  'Parents just want to drug their children because they don't want to do what is necessary to be parents.'  'It's just "boys being boys"'.  To this group, I hope you are right if your child exhibits this behavior.  I hope you have not missed an opportunity to treat your child offering them a calmer, more focused life.

There are those who believe that the condition exists, but won't allow pharmaceutical treatment for fear of the propaganda that's been spread of the side effects. To this group I understand your feelings as I too have heard them and drawn fear.  I could never watch my child walk around scrawny and in a doped daze.  But as with most medications, there are side effects.  Some are temporary and others are persistent.  As many do with pain and allergy medicine, when one doesn't work as effective or have undesirable side effects, we try another.

There are also those to choose to seek a positive solution by any means available, including pharmaceutics.  To this group, I do not believe pharmaceutics would be your first choice of a solution nor even your second.  I believe you would have tried many means of behavior adjustment, such as scolding, removal of favorite entertainment, bribery, counseling, home remedies, and even ignore in hopes it would go away.

And there are those who are a mixture of any of these.

In any case, I don't see how one can stand in judgment of another without being in their situation.  Being able to see they one face the daily battle of completing the simplest of tasks?  Being there to watch a child call oneself 'STUPID' for not being able to grasp skills mastered by others and for making impulsive actions knowing later that it should not have been done.  I can understand how a parent watching their child's grades and self-esteem exponentially decrease would try any means available to help their child. I know living this would break my heart.

For those who pass judgment of others' methods, I hope you will take the time to understand them.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Tonight on RAW DAWG BUFFALO RADIO #BlogTalkRadio

'Parenting in 2010' 11PM EST on Raw Dawg Buffalo Radio #BlogTalkRadio - (call-in anytime during show # 347-324-5722)
I expect it to be a "lively" show.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Ah, come on ladies, let the dog chase the cat!

Something has been lost over the years. It seems men are not chasing women anymore. I wondered why? As I pondered, my thoughts focused on mating rituals seen on Animal Planet and The Discovery Channel. The female is shown to control the mating process. One of more males vie for her attention and selection of mate even to the point of physical altercation. Even when the mate is selected, she still takes her time before allowing the mating process to begin. It seems this behavior has been lost in the human species. The female human mates without thoroughly researching for a male nor does the female human select the dominant male, she selects even the weakest, one that cannot provide security for her and her offspring. The female human doesn't take the adequate amount of time to select a proper mate, but select one showing basic interest in her. The human female must realize that by her methods, she's contributing to the weakening of the human male. The human male needs the confrontation, the fight to show his strength, to become stronger and better capable of providing for his mate and their offspring. The human female needs this understanding in order to prevent the extinction of the strong, proud, human males. So ladies, let's keep our men strong. Let them work hard for us. Don't make it easy or them by being a wife before you are, by providing him offspring before he proves he can provide for you AND them, and allowing them to live off you without any effort to do so on their own.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

American Shingle (roofing): Questionable Practices, BEWARE

Recently I received a call from someone stating she referred me to American Shingle.  According to her, a representative of the company had just visited her and she signed up to have them inspect her roof for possible damage resulting from a hail/wind storm that supposedly occurred in our area on April 10, 2009.  If there was damage, they would work with her insurance company and then make any necessary repairs.  Their lure is coupons for free Papa John's Pizza and $50 referral fee for each referee who gets their roof installed.

Later, I was contacted by this representative and eventually an appointment was scheduled for this past Wednesday.  I had let him do his rehearsed sales pitch as I waited to burst his hopes of a sale.  After I could hold back no longer, I informed him of the work we had just done to repair our roof that's a leaked ever since we've moved in our home almost two years ago and had planned to express our resistance to anyone tampering with what we just had done to our roof.  I got as far as the two 'dead valley' design we have and he had NO idea what I was talking about.  I had to explain it to HIM.  BAD.  He later said that he heard about it before but it was called something else...YEAH RIGHT!.   I also explained we must have guarantee that whatever was done would be replaced.
During the recent repairs, we had a ice/water shields installed with steel flashing.  One document he showed me stated they use aluminum flashing.  He said they give a 10-year warranty that's UNHEARD in this industry.  Another bubble burst for him, I stated I was given a 10-year warranty on my roof repairs.

He should have stopped, but he kept pushing.  His way out was to state, 'Let's not put the cart before the horse.' and wanted me to just find out first if there was damage.  I agreed.  We moved forward with contacting my insurance company to start the claim.  He seemed pleased.  At the moment he wanted a signature from me, his pleasure ceased.  I told him that I needed to consult with my husband because we both had concerns who would perform any work on our roof based on all we've had to deal with roofers lately.

He said he thought my husband would be there...he never asked prior... I was able to get him to leave the package of paperwork for review.  I also told him that I needed to do my research of his company.  I had wanted to do it prior to the appointment but not had the time.  He made two major mistakes in response to my needs
  • He insinuated the reason I needed to discuss with my husband was that I was AFRAID to sign without consulting him.  That is not the right thing to say to SISTA GP.  Of course I had to inform him that my husband regularly trusts my judgment.  In this situation where we've both had concerns of roofers, so I had to discuss this with him.
  • He tried to justify  how unnecessary my research would be.  He claimed they had "partnered" with Papa John's Pizza, pointing to coupons for free pizza he was leaving me.  Asked, Do you think that Papa John's Pizza would have partnered with them without checking them out? and stated Papa John's Pizza research department is large. 
Insulting me in that I could not make a decision without my husband and insulting me that my research would be nothing compared to Papa John's Pizza...clearly he had never run across someone like me before...especially someone who likes to 'Google It' and likes to regularly visit Better Business Bureau.

I wonder when he left did he realize he had no sale from me, hmmm.

My Inadequate Research Compared To Papa John's Pizza Legal Department
  • Google-ing found complaints on their advertising practices
  • The BBB report for my area rated them as A-, Birmingham AL (C+), Douglasville GA (C-)
  • The BBB ratings should not be taken solely on their own.  The original roofer for my house is stated as an Accredited Business with the BBB.
  • The most damaging information was in their contract. 
Contract stipulations
  1. They would have exclusive rights to work with my insurance company to NEGOTIATE the funds needed for repairs
  2. They would have exclusive right to do the repairs as payment for their HELP in obtaining insurance approval
  3. They would get paid for the total cost of repairs INCLUDING ANY SUPPLEMENTAL FUNDS FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY.  ALL insurance checks must be ENDORSED  and made payable to them BEFORE ANY SCHEDULING or WORK WILL BE PERFORMED.
  4. They would be retained as by EXCLUSIVE roofing company UNTIL the roof is replaced and insurance company has released ANY DEPRECIATION and SUPPLEMENTAL funds to them.
It's disturbing how a company would place these restrictions on homeowners..  I thought the normal process would be to offer proposal, get a signed scope of work, do the work, then get paid. 

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Raw Dawg Buffalo Radio 02/04 11 PM EST

How bad is the economy? & The FY2011 Budget. 

Join the discussion. Call-in: 347-324-5722
Listen live and join us in chat room:

See you then...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

When is it over?

Many times lately I have been in conversation regarding as to when a relationship has officially been terminated. There is a physical termination and an emotional termination.
The physical termination is easy to identify, such as "Don't call me anymore!", "It's over!", "I'm out!", "You have been served.", and "I wish he would get hit by a Mack truck!". I've used the latter.
This type of termination is not always verbal. Actions can speak louder than words, for example, "Dating or sexual relations with another", "keying of vehicle", and "packing of bags".

The moment of emotional termination is hard to detect. The length of time of the relationship and level of commitment are variable and no one can say exactly how long it will take after a breakup that "it's over". A couple that has been in a long-term relationship, say over 15 years, if that relationship began when they were in their 20's, they would have grown into adulthood within that relationship. All aspects of that relationship shaped them, not physically, but emotionally, intellectually, and soulfully. No matter which mate instigated the breakup, it should take considerable time, even years, for them to become new people without their mates. Time is necessary to mourn the loss of their previous selves and to make changes to be whole again.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Another on my NO CALL and DO NOT REFER lists

What is so wrong with businesses these days? You give a young man an opportunity for a new customer and customer referrals and he blows it. The son of an owner of a janitorial service supposedly had his own carpet cleaning service. Over a larger franchise businesses, we tried to support this young man.
The first appointment was set for 9 AM yesterday. In preparation, I spent Friday night and EARLY Saturday morning in preparations. It had been a long stressful week and interrupting my Sci Fi Friday night routine and an early morning rise was not on the top of my list of weekend activities.
Fifteen minutes prior to appointment time, he called claiming his father lent out the cleaning machine without his prior knowledge. His father had not known he had a cleaning job scheduled.
He asked to reschedule until 4 pm today. I had no issues since it would give me an opportunity to give the house a thorough cleaning. So Saturday was spent polishing, dusting, and vacuuming.

Approaching 4pm, we made final preparations by moving any furnishing that could be moved. At 3:56, he called. Said he JUST got off from work and noticed it was raining and the appointment would have to be postponed again. he was claiming the carpets would not dry until morning. I was so tired and undone, I could not even talk to him. I gave my phone to Hubby. Basically Hubby told him his services will no longer be needed, forever. Now there we were, rooms emptied where carpets needed to be cleaned.
There was no way we could leave everything in its current location until next week or whenever we could schedule another service. This left one option, do it myself. I have my own cleaner for general cleaning, but I had wanted a professional cleaning this one time. So I began, able to complete three rooms before the solution was fully dispensed.
I'll complete the rest sometime this week, maybe one room a night after work. Having a normal full week, I am not looking forward to this but it must be done.

Of course I will not refrain from trying new small businesses. I can not allow disappointment from one to affect another that may provide excellent service. It was so frustrating that this weekend did not go as planned.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Things happen for a reason...

There are times when you are motivated to accomplish a task you may not realized its timing and importance.  A few weeks ago, before the first wave of wintry weather, we decided to try out the gas fireplace.  We should have expected a problem like the many other first time use of items in our new house.  Immediately after Hubby turned on the LP tank, I heard hissing and smelled an odor from the fireplace area.
After several minutes of trying to locate the problem and Hubby lacerating his finger, a professional was the next recourse.  The first one we scheduled didn't appear on two occasions, so he was forever added to our NO CALL list. 
Through the plumbing company my mother uses, we found a guy who was courteous, punctual, and professional.  Last Thursday, he made the repairs and explained the problem.  He has been added to our DO CALL AND REFER list.
We enjoyed the vent-less fireplace so much we depleted a tank by Saturday night and connected the backup tank yesterday.
This morning, minutes after starting my treadmill workout @ 5:47AM, blackness occurred.  There was the only the steady green flash of my blackberry.  Using the display light I was able to locate my emergency lantern and flashlight.  Since morning temps were in the teens, warmth was next on the agenda.  Thank God the fireplace was ready.  It didn't take long before soft heat filled the main areas of the house.
Not knowing how long the outage would be and having an all electric home, I quickly showered and dressed warmly for work.  Later, checking with the power company, the outage was limited to the two streets of my subdivision.  The power was restored approximately an hour after it was lost.  All seemed well.
Waking son to start his morning later than usual, I was prepared to inform him of the outage and the lateness of the morning. Before I could, he asked, "Is the power back on?".  Apparently, he woke, noticed the outage, and then returned to sleep...  We will have to have a "discussion" on this later.
While he was preparing his cereal...lights out AGAIN... Thankfully this time it was after sunrise and clear skies.  A plenitude of sunlight cascaded through the house and along with the fire, there was light and heat.   We finished preparing for the day by use of lanterns.  Just so you know, grooming my lantern can be scary.  Some things, makeup application, would have to wait until proper illumination.

Prior to leaving home, the power had not returned.  We did see two occupied power company pickup trucks at the end of our street and a large work truck on a nearby corner.  Hopefully all will be well when we return home this evening.

Hmmm, I wonder if this has anything to do with the streets of our community not being identified on any online map or GPS system...


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Fun Personality Priority Test

I saw this on Personality Test Center site.  My reaction order is below.

Priority Test

We often get in situations when we take decisions without a second thought and this is the right moment to find out what type of person we are.

What would you do first if you were in a situation where:

The baby is crying.
The clothes are hanging outside and it has started to rain.
The water is running from the tap.
The doorbell is ringing.
The phone is ringing.

Think about what you will do first, then second and so on. Scroll down to see the explanation.

Each action reflects the priorities that you have set in your life. Take a look at the following table to see which priority corresponds to which action.


Action Priority
Attend the phone Career and job
See who is at the door Friends and relatives
Pick up the clothes Sex
Attend the baby Family
Switch the tap off Wealth

For example if the first thing that you did was to answer the phone then your biggest priority in life would be your career and job. Similarly if the fourth thing that you did was to attend to the baby then your fourth priority would be your family.


Turn off the tap since it would be in front of me and shouldn't be running attended
Pick up the baby, put the cordless phone to my ear, put caller on hold, while I answer the door.
Tell the person at the door to go get the clothes, either they have an umbrella or they're already wet anyway

Doesn't really follow the chart above.  I wonder how I would do on an IQ test or a polygraph, or better yet, serve on a jury?
What is your reaction order?

Monday, January 4, 2010

Thank You, Blogs Her Color

I am so honored to have 'a southern thang' selected as the Blogs Her Color Daily Color of Choice.  It was started as a means of improving my writing skills, but has developed into so much more.  It has been a haven, a means to communicate with so many great people, and a means to express myself in a manner I'd never done before.

Now, to be honored as the Blogs Her Color Daily Color of Choice, has exceptional timing as I start this new year with a goal to communicate more with family and friends deeper than done before.  The gift of love and fellowship is the best we can give one another and blogging is an excellent means to accomplish this goal along with many others.

As a quick look around, here are some of my favorite or most popular posts.

I found the other woman, Vanesa

Brawl at Summer Camp

Journal #1

Should I Get Married?

Prostitution should be legalized UPDATED

Obama signs "South Paw" Executive Order about prohibition

shaken and stirred

Welcome members of Blogs Her Color. I'm glad you came to visit.
Sista GP

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