THE FOREST...THE TREES

Those that can't see your forest for the trees
ARE STRANGERS TO YOU

Those that can't see your forest because they are the trees
ARE THOSE INTIMATE TO YOU

Those that can see the forest because they surround it and can enter at any time
ARE YOUR TRUE FRIENDS

Friends tell you when YOUR FOREST IS ON FIRE!!

Cherish your friends, they can save your life AND your trees..

Cookout vs. Grilling vs. BBQ

As the summer approaches, outdoor cooking and eating is more prevalent. Recently stated to me, "what the South calls Grilling, the North calls BBQ" made me wonder what exactly each mean. Now, a cookout seems to cover all. The meal is prepared outdoors using heat supplied via gas, charcoal, or wood, followed by consumption outdoors too. 
Grilling adds specifics to the way of cooking, differentiating from open pit and campfire. There are gas grills, charcoal grills, and smoker grills with wood smoke boxes. To me, this isn't a BBQ.
A BBQ is an event, it includes grilling (ribs, chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers), eating outdoors, family, friends, music, games, joy and laughter.

Yesterday we had a BBQ.  Hubby grilled several slabs of ribs, sausages, hot dogs, and chicken. Also he prepared his "original" baked beans and BBQ sauce, while I prepared the cole slaw and managed the cleanup as-you-go.  We hung out in the garage where the kids went back and forth from sitting with us and playing games to frequent bike rides.  The garage was convenient for protection from the scattered rain showers we had all day. For some, this may be called a BBQ, but for me, the addition of music tops off the definition.  Music can be live, cd, mp3, or even streamed as we did.  But the significance is how the music was provided.  Hubby ran new speaker wire from his amp to an old speaker, piping the music streamed from Pandora through my phone connected to the amp and the indoor speakers and now outdoor speaker in the garage.  Later in the day, a neighbor and his dog joined us to finish off the day.

Now that is what a BBQ is to me.  What does it mean to you?

The Big 4-0 and still climbing...

I've heard that some dread reaching the age of 40. For me, it is a milestone. A moment to evaluate where I have been, where I am now, and where I want to be. I haven't completed several tasks that I have set forth to do. Some hindrances have been out of my control, but others have not. I take this moment in life to affirm my commitment to my goals and to myself and to my family. It's understandable that it won't be easy and a huge sacrifice of my already little "me" time, but the rewards of accomplishment will be worth it.

Onto softer conversation, my birthday weekend was great. Starting the day (Oct 2nd) with flowers and a balloon from Hubby when I woke. On-site co-workers from our consulting company took me to lunch. It was odd that it was the first time in the years we've worked there just the four of us had lunch together. It was Mexican.

My birthday coincided on First Friday Macon. An event where business owners in downtown Macon have several events to attract consumers to the area. Since Hubby had to work night shift, I spent the evening there with Mom, son and a girlfriend who also works with me. It was a lovely evening great for outdoor entertainment.


Saturday's plans were for us to have dinner with Mom, sis and niece at Golden Corral's. Dinner was actually a surprise party for me. I had no idea. It was a great feeling NOT being involved something. We arrived BEFORE many of the surprise guests. That was great also having to focus on a few at a time instead of everyone.
I saw first my mom sitting with a family friend which we've regularly shared family events. Once fully entering the room I saw one of the guys I had lunch with the day before sitting next to my girlfriend who hung out with me the night before. Payback will be later.
Within minutes, my brother (from metro Atlanta) and his three sons (7, 5, 1) came in. It was nice seeing my brother, but having my nephews there added a special touch.
Moments later an old friend arrived with her mother and her daughter. Their family used to live behind my mom. We both grew up together and used to be best of friends. They were definitely a surprise, she currently lives in metro Atlanta with her family. I hadn't spoken to her since New Year's and maybe a year since we've seen each other. My sister and niece arrived much later, but before some had to leave.

There were more invited but were unable to attend for prior commitments. It was fine. If all had attended, the room would have been crowded and maybe uncomfortable. The kids enjoyed the space; they had fun running around and playing around and under the tables. A tremendous joy was the cake. My mom had made and decorated it. Mmmm, pound cake birthday cake, yes!

Sunday was supposed to be dinner for just me, Hubby, and son, but I was too tired from working all week and trying to get weekend chores done early, then the Friday and Saturday events. The dinner was not cancelled, just postponed (I'm not crazy!).

Monday was back to normal. Before lunch, the same corruptible girlfriend asked if I wanted to go for Mexican for lunch. Needing to make a run to Home Depot (a long story), I told her I might not make it. Then she remembers that she needed to go also and so she tagged along with another friend of ours. Quickly finishing, we had a quick sitdown lunch at Zaxby's. Arriving back to the office, I noticed folks had been busy. There were posted fliers of me announcing my 40th birthday on two sets of the entrance glass doors, below the elevator button, (upstairs) security doors to the hallway to my office area. I began to wonder how much damage was done to my cubicle. I saw what was done to the guy who turned 40 last month, I began to cringe.

It wasn't as bad as I expected, but really funny. It's nice to be loved.

Giving Thanks for Blessings and Awards, Part 3

I have been working on this three-part post for almost two weeks. Having put in 12 hours OT last week, hosting family and friends for the holiday, and then finally taking some recommended rest, did not leave much time for blogging and twittering.

It was great having everyone here. My Mom was estatic she had her mom, all her sisters, her children and grandchildren under one roof. My older brother and a friend flew into the ATL and drove down here. My younger brother and his family made a day-trip from the ATL. Grandma and aunts drove in from Savannah, GA and the rest were from this area. We had 18 in all out of the expected 19. There could have been at least 10 more from Savannah, but they were not able to come.

It was a long tiresome day, but a true blessing that we all could share it on the first Thanksgiving in my new home.

Here a few pics of the fixings...

who's on first?

Lady1 introduces Man1 to Lady2, Lady3, Lady4, Lady5, Lady6 @ Lady2's place during Spades night.
Man1 offers the ladies to play at his place since complaints of noise at Lady2's place. (all the ladies would have had the same complaint at their place)

In the beginning, all ladies would go together to play at Man1's place. Over time, only Lady1, Lady2, and Lady3 would go. Eventually, Lady1 stopped when she realized that Man1 was interested in Lady2. (Lady2 was unaware of reason and cause of Lady1's departure from the group)

Soon after Lady3 stopped, then it was only Lady2. Since Lady2 only went to Man1's place to play spades, there was always at least 4 people there.
Lady2 began to notice certain actions of Man1, but was not sure of their meaning.

One day during a phone conversation, after being confronted by Lady2, Man1 admits interest in Lady2. Lady2 admits interest in Man1, but questions his relationship with Lady1. Man1 says he can't be with Lady1, since she once dated one of his boys, Man2. Lady1 never discussed with Lady2 how deep her feelings were for Man1. Only mentioned that she had dated Man2 and Man2 was friends with Man1.

Lady2 then questions Man1 about his long-time girlfriend. Man1 admits he still is with girlfriend, Lady7. Lady2 tells Man1 that she can't pursue anything with him as long as he is with Lady7.

The day after the above conversation, Man1 calls Lady2 to ask to play spades, they need a fourth. Lady2 agreed, but warned by Man1 that Lady7 will be there. Out of curiosity, Lady2 still agreed to attend.

So Man1 and Lady7 arrive to pick up Lady2. Man1, who's usually wide-open, joking, and jubilant, is quiet. Lady7 is quiet. WTH!

Throughout the evening, Man1 was quiet and subdued when Lady7 was in the room. Whenever she left, Man1 would return to the person that Lady2 had previously known. Lady2 tripped all evening while she and Man3 won it all. Man1 and Man3 were excellent players. Lady7 was too conservative.

When time to go (Man1, Lady7, and Lady2 outside), Lady7 walked to her own vehicle WITHOUT any hugs/kisses with Man1 AND LEFT BEFORE Man1 pulled off to take Lady2 home. On the way home, Lady2 tripped on Man1 AFTER he asked how she felt about the evening.

Lady2 continued to play spades with Man1 at his place under the same conditions. Their friendship never did go any further or cross any lines.

Later, after Lady2 had moved out of town, Lady3 told Lady2 that Man1 said that he did not pursue further with Lady2 since he knew that Lady2 could possibly leave town for career purposes and Man1 did not want to interfere. Guess that is why he kept Lady7 around. Lady3 then told Lady2 why Lady1 had stopped going to Man1's place with them. Until then, Lady2 had no clue.

So, my questions to you..
Was Lady2 wrong to not pursue Man1 for reason of Lady7 instead of her girl, Lady1, who introduced them? or does it matter?

Was Lady2 wrong to continue to hang with Man1 even though they both knew how they felt about each other and he had Lady7?

We all know Man1 was wrong for pursuing Lady2 when he kept Lady7 in the wings. But were any of his interactions with Lady2 as a friend wrong? Should Man1 have invited Lady2 over when Lady7 was there?

Should Lady1 have discussed her feelings with Lady2 when she realized that Man1 was interested in Lady2 or was backing out the right thing to do?

Any other wrongs or rights?