Ah, come on ladies, let the dog chase the cat!

Something has been lost over the years. It seems men are not chasing women anymore. I wondered why? As I pondered, my thoughts focused on mating rituals seen on Animal Planet and The Discovery Channel. The female is shown to control the mating process. One of more males vie for her attention and selection of mate even to the point of physical altercation. Even when the mate is selected, she still takes her time before allowing the mating process to begin. It seems this behavior has been lost in the human species. The female human mates without thoroughly researching for a male nor does the female human select the dominant male, she selects even the weakest, one that cannot provide security for her and her offspring. The female human doesn't take the adequate amount of time to select a proper mate, but select one showing basic interest in her. The human female must realize that by her methods, she's contributing to the weakening of the human male. The human male needs the confrontation, the fight to show his strength, to become stronger and better capable of providing for his mate and their offspring. The human female needs this understanding in order to prevent the extinction of the strong, proud, human males. So ladies, let's keep our men strong. Let them work hard for us. Don't make it easy or them by being a wife before you are, by providing him offspring before he proves he can provide for you AND them, and allowing them to live off you without any effort to do so on their own.

When is it over?

Many times lately I have been in conversation regarding as to when a relationship has officially been terminated. There is a physical termination and an emotional termination.
The physical termination is easy to identify, such as "Don't call me anymore!", "It's over!", "I'm out!", "You have been served.", and "I wish he would get hit by a Mack truck!". I've used the latter.
This type of termination is not always verbal. Actions can speak louder than words, for example, "Dating or sexual relations with another", "keying of vehicle", and "packing of bags".

The moment of emotional termination is hard to detect. The length of time of the relationship and level of commitment are variable and no one can say exactly how long it will take after a breakup that "it's over". A couple that has been in a long-term relationship, say over 15 years, if that relationship began when they were in their 20's, they would have grown into adulthood within that relationship. All aspects of that relationship shaped them, not physically, but emotionally, intellectually, and soulfully. No matter which mate instigated the breakup, it should take considerable time, even years, for them to become new people without their mates. Time is necessary to mourn the loss of their previous selves and to make changes to be whole again.

how to respond

How should I respond when a recently married man at work says, 'Your husband must be glad he has a pretty wife'?

He was probably trying to be nice, but STILL.

Should he be aware how HIS wife would feel by him making such a comment? If I found out that my hubby said that to another woman, I would have the same thoughts as Jesse Jackson, Sr. in reference to Barack Obama's genitalia.

I think it is time for me to bring back to work some photos of my husband. I took them home awhile back. There were to many fire alerts at the office.

What do you think?

april 25, 1998

ten years today i declared 'I DO'
solidifying i belonged to you

vowed to love, comfort, honor, and keep
the embodiment of your love in my soul deep

for richer or poorer, in sickness or health
your love the most valuable nature of wealth

through better or worse, sadness or joy
we were blessed with the birth of our boy

promised to honor and to cherish
a precious bond no need to embellish

although our life has not been what we've expected
my love for you has never deflected

through our trials and time apart
you are ever present in my heart

mutual prayer guides our way
through our destined path each and every day

most of all we must remember
keeping God first we will never surrender

this declaration comes from within
to my first love, my darling Ben

© 2008 Bernice Burks