Sunday, January 31, 2010

When is it over?

Many times lately I have been in conversation regarding as to when a relationship has officially been terminated. There is a physical termination and an emotional termination.
The physical termination is easy to identify, such as "Don't call me anymore!", "It's over!", "I'm out!", "You have been served.", and "I wish he would get hit by a Mack truck!". I've used the latter.
This type of termination is not always verbal. Actions can speak louder than words, for example, "Dating or sexual relations with another", "keying of vehicle", and "packing of bags".

The moment of emotional termination is hard to detect. The length of time of the relationship and level of commitment are variable and no one can say exactly how long it will take after a breakup that "it's over". A couple that has been in a long-term relationship, say over 15 years, if that relationship began when they were in their 20's, they would have grown into adulthood within that relationship. All aspects of that relationship shaped them, not physically, but emotionally, intellectually, and soulfully. No matter which mate instigated the breakup, it should take considerable time, even years, for them to become new people without their mates. Time is necessary to mourn the loss of their previous selves and to make changes to be whole again.


  1. I think people who break up after long term relationships and marriages are permanete connected in spirit,no matter what the circumstance of the breakup.You just don't forget experences and dismiss them as not happening.

  2. I dunno. I've never had a relationship longer than about 5 years. And I think you can easily terminate yourself emotionally. One day you wake up and realize, to quote Billie Holiday "You ain't gonna bother me no more".

    However... if there are ChildrenInCommon you will never ever ever be disconnected from that other person. Even if you never see them again.


release your mind...what do you think?


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