Wednesday, September 3, 2008

who's on first?

Lady1 introduces Man1 to Lady2, Lady3, Lady4, Lady5, Lady6 @ Lady2's place during Spades night.
Man1 offers the ladies to play at his place since complaints of noise at Lady2's place. (all the ladies would have had the same complaint at their place)

In the beginning, all ladies would go together to play at Man1's place. Over time, only Lady1, Lady2, and Lady3 would go. Eventually, Lady1 stopped when she realized that Man1 was interested in Lady2. (Lady2 was unaware of reason and cause of Lady1's departure from the group)

Soon after Lady3 stopped, then it was only Lady2. Since Lady2 only went to Man1's place to play spades, there was always at least 4 people there.
Lady2 began to notice certain actions of Man1, but was not sure of their meaning.

One day during a phone conversation, after being confronted by Lady2, Man1 admits interest in Lady2. Lady2 admits interest in Man1, but questions his relationship with Lady1. Man1 says he can't be with Lady1, since she once dated one of his boys, Man2. Lady1 never discussed with Lady2 how deep her feelings were for Man1. Only mentioned that she had dated Man2 and Man2 was friends with Man1.

Lady2 then questions Man1 about his long-time girlfriend. Man1 admits he still is with girlfriend, Lady7. Lady2 tells Man1 that she can't pursue anything with him as long as he is with Lady7.

The day after the above conversation, Man1 calls Lady2 to ask to play spades, they need a fourth. Lady2 agreed, but warned by Man1 that Lady7 will be there. Out of curiosity, Lady2 still agreed to attend.

So Man1 and Lady7 arrive to pick up Lady2. Man1, who's usually wide-open, joking, and jubilant, is quiet. Lady7 is quiet. WTH!

Throughout the evening, Man1 was quiet and subdued when Lady7 was in the room. Whenever she left, Man1 would return to the person that Lady2 had previously known. Lady2 tripped all evening while she and Man3 won it all. Man1 and Man3 were excellent players. Lady7 was too conservative.

When time to go (Man1, Lady7, and Lady2 outside), Lady7 walked to her own vehicle WITHOUT any hugs/kisses with Man1 AND LEFT BEFORE Man1 pulled off to take Lady2 home. On the way home, Lady2 tripped on Man1 AFTER he asked how she felt about the evening.

Lady2 continued to play spades with Man1 at his place under the same conditions. Their friendship never did go any further or cross any lines.

Later, after Lady2 had moved out of town, Lady3 told Lady2 that Man1 said that he did not pursue further with Lady2 since he knew that Lady2 could possibly leave town for career purposes and Man1 did not want to interfere. Guess that is why he kept Lady7 around. Lady3 then told Lady2 why Lady1 had stopped going to Man1's place with them. Until then, Lady2 had no clue.

So, my questions to you..
Was Lady2 wrong to not pursue Man1 for reason of Lady7 instead of her girl, Lady1, who introduced them? or does it matter?

Was Lady2 wrong to continue to hang with Man1 even though they both knew how they felt about each other and he had Lady7?

We all know Man1 was wrong for pursuing Lady2 when he kept Lady7 in the wings. But were any of his interactions with Lady2 as a friend wrong? Should Man1 have invited Lady2 over when Lady7 was there?

Should Lady1 have discussed her feelings with Lady2 when she realized that Man1 was interested in Lady2 or was backing out the right thing to do?

Any other wrongs or rights?


  1. I think Lady 2 did the right thing by not getting involved at all. Because clearly there are way too many people in this. Besides he has a woman that he kicks it with. And how disrespectful of him to treat her like that. Like if someone else comes along he would jump at that. But if it doesn't work out he still has her.

    Whew! So the drama!

  2. okay i'm gonna try to keep my mouth clean on this one, but umm first of all are there NO men in this town and is Man1 is bonafide catch? Doubtful but I have to ask because I can't for the life of me understand how a true player and I don't mean spades could have so many options and not really be doing right be any of them!

    Oh my damn!

    It's not good for folks to fish in the same pond, that's all I'm saying.

  3. aunt jackie
    it is a college town
    Lady2 through Lady6 are average-aged undergraduate students 21-22
    Lady1 is an undergraduate student but older than the others 25-26?
    Man1, Man2, and Lady7 are all older graduates

    Taking out all the students, faculty, and staff in the town, I am not sure who would be left and eligible.

    Man1 is attractive, sociable, and fun to have around.

    At least he was honest about Lady7 being in his life, that is some credit, isn't it?

  4. Ok so I just wanted to say that the normal person would probably be hella confused right now... but since I am a spades wiz... i was able to keep up with the science

    Now in this situation I dont think anyone was wrong. Ol' girl who got mad and stopped hanging around... she knows you cant date everyone in the crew... so take it as a L. You should have thoroughly reviewed the crew and sought after who you really wanted first.

    I dont think its wrong at all for you to express how you feel about someone whether you are in a relationship or not... the problem lies in acting on those feelings and neither party did. I think ol' girl had every right to continue going to the spades parties... these people are her friends and why should she deny herself of something she loves to do because of a little emotional tension.

    Now ol' boy was wrong for keeping whack girl in the wings knowing that she wasn't the type of chick he wanted to be with.


release your mind...what do you think?


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