journey, part 3

Changes.

The first area of change had to be outward appearance. How you see yourself greatly affects how you feel. Looking in the mirror, I looked like I was hiding myself among the baggy, over-sized clothes. After discussing my concerns with a friend/co-worker, we decided to immediately go shopping before I changed my mind, another friend came along. So over an extended lunch break, the three of us had a What Not To Wear shopping session at the mall. I made a vow to myself that I would not make another purchase of clothing that would hide me. Also, as I replaced them I gave away all the old clothing so I would not slip back into them and the accompanying mood.


The next phase was to find something to do for myself. The opportunity arose in the fall of 2006. A co-worker had sent out a notice that Adult Women's soccer league was developing and they were looking for players. Outside of PE in school and walking for exercise, I had never participated in any sport. I was always involved in academics. As a celebration of my 37th birthday, that day I participated in my first soccer pick up game. In the second half of that first game, I played the goalie position and stayed there every since. There was no way I was going to run around with the other women who were 10-15 years younger and in better physical condition. Even though I did not lose any weight I thought I would, I did get stronger and "earned" the nickname "brick wall". There were some that actually bounced off of me on collisions and I barely felt anything. There were two impacts that I recall best. One was when many teammates kept asking if I was okay after an impact. I repeated answered I was fine. Finally I asked, "what was the big deal, why is everyone keep asking me that?". A teammate answered, "because you were hit by two people at the same time." I knew I was hit hard but not by two. The other incident actually took me out of the game. I was hit while airborne; twisted my leg in the hip area and ended up on the ground, a rare situation. I think I took a week's break and back to the field it was. I have not played since last July; two family reunions filled the rest of the month and my son started 1st grade at a new school the following month. He had issues, so I did not have time for soccer.


During the same time I was playing soccer, I started something based on a thought out of the blue. Since my childhood days, I would always daydream, home, school, wherever. I got into plenty of trouble by not paying attention. I gained better control over it as I grew older but it was still there. I would take a situation I saw/heard/dreamt and asked "what if...". So one morning while thinking about something I had dreamed, I decided to write it down. What started as a small thought developed into a novel nine months later. I am in the process of preparing it to be published. I became a writer. A few months ago, I met someone who has encouraged me to write more. Since then I have started writing verse. I never thought that I would be a writer; they seemed to be so artistic and out of my league. And now I am one. I have started on another story that may be novel length also. I will just see how it turns out.


Thankfully, a few months ago hubby heard about T-ball registration at a park in the area. My son wanted to participate so I signed him up. Since he lives like an only child, his half-sister is going to college in another state, he needed to learn how to share, work with others, and follow rules better. Plus he would be around more male figures. I do not want him to grow up to be a momma's boy. His school life seems to be better since he started playing and he is learning a lot. He mostly plays third base. He does need more self-control and accuracy, but he is trying. Watching Major League Baseball has helped also.

In addition to the two game days and one team practice a week, I try to take him to the park for practice or we just practice in the yard. Usually I help out in coaching, just reiterating what the coach has demonstrated during practice, and last week I was the third base coach for a game when the regular guy could not make it. So at least I am participating in a sport again and spending quality time with my son.

Next, change in living arrangements